Blessed

There's times where I sit down and blog for other people. I know that I have certain friends and family around the world that are interested to know how I'm doing and what's going on in my life. I hope that my words and actions encourage them, and that the things that God is doing in my life point others toward Him. Other times I blog for me. It seems that my thoughts sometimes only get in order when I'm typing them out. I find the most wisdom and conviction through what the Spirit decides to work out through my own fingers. I think it took some time for me to realize that I actually blog for myself most of the time.

I asked myself if it makes sense to blog and not just journal. A journal is more private. I can share things that I might not want to share through a blog. But, then I remember that life isn't meant to be lived alone. My problems aren't meant to be dealt with alone. My fears aren't supposed to be given a foothold to destroy me. The blessings I receive aren't meant to make me feel high and mighty. I want my life to be completely transparent. I want my sin to be something that others can see, so that they can hold me accountable to it, but also to give other people comfort to know that they aren't the only ones going through something. If we think we're the only ones with a struggle we're more likely to keep it hidden inside.

It's also important to understand that sharing things too openly can be harmful. If people around us hear that we have certain attributes, then they may stop paying attention to us. For example, if the pastor of a church were continually professing a specific political background it would most likely lead some people away. I'm not saying that it's all about the numbers because of the numbers, but because of the sphere of influence. In this case, a pastor would have a larger sphere of influence if he hadn't discussed his political background. If everything else he teaches is something that would be beneficial for someone regardless of political background, then there is no reason to feel the need to be transparent about that matter.

So I want to be transparent. I heard a sermon a month or two ago that got me thinking pretty deeply about the idea of being blessed. So often I look at the house and neighborhood I live in, the student loans I have to pay, the hours of work I have to put in, and I think I'm better than that. I'm better than a house that's falling apart. I'm better than having to work 50 hours a week. I'm smart enough to have skipped school. All these prideful thoughts like to get in my head and start burning an ugly fire of discomfort.

I had to remember that I'm right where God wants me to be. All the things that burn that frustration are things that God placed in my life because this is where He wanted me to be. If I'm exactly where God wants me to be, then I'm blessed. God allowed me to be stripped out of all my comforts two years ago, and this is the way He chose to build my life back together.

So instead of those negative thoughts I need to remember: I OWN a house. I HAVE a neighborhood. I EARNED a degree that allows me to WORK at a great job. So this is where God has me. The only thing to do now is figure out what He wants me to do with it?

Did God allow me to buy a house so that I could be more comfortable? Am I surrounded by neighbors so that I can be secluded from them? Do I have a degree so that I can work a minimum wage job? Do I earn a good salary so that I can feel financially blessed?

When I was in high school I managed to set myself up so that I took calculus 1&2 my junior year. That decision allowed me to spend some time my senior year helping out by teaching my friends and younger schoolmates how to do calculus as a teacher aid. I ended up in a position where I was able to help others because of the experiences that I had.

I'm blessed with a relationship with God that allows me to look at the things I have in a positive way. What am I going to do with them?