The Valley - Desolation Transforming into Wells of Life

I went to the beach after work today. I found a raised area of sand to sit on because I hadn't thought to bring a chair. I began to read the book "Love Does" that a friend let me borrow after I agreed to read it as quickly as possible. I paused shortly after beginning to read. I'd allowed myself to get so busy and caught up in life and the activities taking place that I completely forgot why the beach had so often been my safe haven, my mountain top.

I looked out over the water and remembered a time God had spoken to me letting me know that just as the waves appear out of the sea without ceasing, so is His presence in my life. 

I looked up to the sky to see some terns fly over my head and remembered when God had told me that with Him I can fly on wings like an eagle. I've wanted to fly away so badly lately. If I could just launch myself in the air and remove myself from life I would feel so free!

I looked at the children playing in the water, the old man and his wife walking through the surf, and the teenage boy learning how to boogie board. These are the people that I'm living for. God didn't reveal Himself to me so that I could live a great and successful life for myself. God revealed Himself to me so that I could live a great life for those around me.

I started to feel refreshed. The more I read the book, the more I felt the problems that entered my life last weekend slowly fade to mere raindrops from the hurricane that they seemed. God has this awesome quality that whenever we seek Him earnestly, He grants us comfort and shows us that He's in control.

Last Wednesday I was boarding an airplane to Jackson, MS for a two day work trip and I got a call from Wells Fargo telling me that they wanted to review some potential fraudulent charges on my account. She began to read off charges in the hundreds of dollars for online game sites, non-profits, hotel rooms, and all sorts of stuff. It sounded like someone had emptied my bank account overnight! Fortunately, Wells Fargo was able to keep the bank from processing a lot of the payments and refunded me for the few that they couldn't stop, all in the few minutes before I boarded!

On Friday I called my doctor's office to ask whether or not they had received results from my diabetic testing yet. They told me they hadn't but they'd call the lab and see if they had finished them yet. While I was waiting I drove to a fairly secluded beach about an hour away and just sat there reflecting on everything going on in my life- from my job, to volunteering with the college and 20s ministry at church, to the dreams I had for my life that I still hadn't accomplished. While sitting on the beach I got a phone call letting me know that they got my results and that all three tests came back negative. I had originally had testing done to see if I was producing my own insulin, and because I was producing some in small amounts I was eligible for the genetic testing. The doctor had made it sound like I was going to be one of three types of type MODY. Well, I guess I misunderstood because the tests came back negative and the nurse told me that I am a type 1 diabetic and will have to continue taking insulin injections. That was tough to hear. I had been running all kinds of scenarios through my mind of new possibilities that could present themselves if I could take an oral medication.

On Saturday morning I drove out to a sod farm halfway to Columbia in hopes of finding a bird that I hadn't seen yet this year. I'm not sure if I've discussed this yet, but I have been trying to see 300 species of birds in South Carolina this year. For those of you who have seen The Big Year, it's very similar. I like to think of it like one of the I Spy books that I used to read as a kid. I'm at 280, but the birds I still need to see can only be seen during migration. As I was driving down the dirt roads of the sod farm I almost got stuck in a few areas where the road was soft because of the recent storms we've been having. I never found the bird and right before I was going to leave I hit a pothole and my front shock started making a lot of noise. My car air conditioning hasn't been working, but I've been hoping to keep it running for a while in order to get through all the traveling necessary for my goal of 300. Toyota Corollas get much better gas mileage than trucks! I've decided not to drive it until I can determine what's wrong with the shock, then hopefully I can fix it on my own.

Sunday morning I woke up shivering as one of our house guests enjoyed sleeping with a lot of blankets on and I wasn't prepared. I decided that instead of going back to sleep I'd take advantage of the 5:30 wake-up time and take a trip to a new location where a different bird I needed had been seen on Saturday evening. I ended up having a potty attack and had to drive down the first dirt road that I came across. The dirt turned to mud very quickly and I was sliding all over the road before I could react. I ended up stuck perpendicular to the road. I guess God was trying to show me that they make 4-wheel drive for a reason! First, a visit to the woods, then I started trying to rock the truck in and out of the muddy rut that my back tires were in, but I only seemed to make it worse. I began to collect branches and sticks to jab under my tires in hopes of gaining some sort of traction, but it wasn't enough to overcome the 6 inches of mud I had sunk into. My phone didn't have any service, so I walked in prayer a mile back to the gas station. I had only asked God that getting out would be easier than it seemed it would be. My original intent was to enter the gas station and ask for the phone book and if I could borrow the phone. I was going to break the bank calling for a tow truck in that area of the state at 7 am on a Sunday, but it's the only option that came to mind. I was on my way to the door when I saw some older men talking and hanging out on the side of the building. I approached them and asked if they knew anyone with the ability to tow someone out of 6" of mud. I explained what happened and that I didn't have 4-wheel drive. God answered my prayer as they got a strap out and we all loaded into a mid-sized SUV. I finally figured out the definition of the word emasculated.... it describes the way you feel when your tough truck gets pulled out of the mud by the vehicle of a middle-class soccer mom! 

I proceeded to my destination where I spent 4 hours looking but missed the bird. During the drive back the truck started beeping with a low-pressure tire alert. I stopped every half hour to try to figure out what tire it was, but everything looked fine the entire drive home. I took a nap when I got home and woke up to my truck being 4" lower in the front than I left it.

All this happened on top of the fact that we're losing a couple employees at work and my work load feels like it has tripled over the last week. All I could think was that I was getting punished for something I had done. How did all that happen in the matter of a few days? I learned that my health was not going to improve. I nearly lost all the money I had saved. And I broke both of my vehicles. On top of that, I could've gotten up to 282 birds, but I was still stuck at a lousy 280!

Well, nothing great has happened to suddenly overwrite everything that happened. God has done a lot of teaching over the last few days, and reminding me how critical it is to let Him carry my burdens for me. I'm continually trying to work on the idea that it's selfish to not let Him help, but the man in me wants to do everything without the help of others. I was fortunate enough to get the tire fixed for free, but the solution to everything else will have to come in time. 

I don't know why all this happened, but I do know that God has a plan. I was once again comforted with the image of me walking behind God, staring at His back, knowing that as long as I didn't stray from the path He was leading me on, everything was going to be greater than I could imagine! Sometimes God allows us to be attacked as He did Job, and in those times He promises to never leave us or forsake us. So, I'm resting on those promises. I'm giving my burdens to Him to carry, and I'm blindly following where He leads, knowing that life is an adventure and God is my trail guide.

PRAYER REQUESTS

Please pray that I would not get discouraged, but that I would continue to seek God and His will for my life right now.

Pray for the opportunity I've recently been given to be a leader at theWELL ministry at church. That I would effectively reach people by planning community events and that those people would be led into relationships with churches and Christians because of the events.

Pray that my vision would be a reflection of God's vision.

Pray that my heart and mind would be prepared for what ends up taking place during my trip to Holland in December. Pray that I would be in a state of mind that allows the Holy Spirit to speak through me as He promises. More information about this trip can be read about in an event I recently created on facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/events/432200530232227/

Love you all!

What is Diabetes MODY?

I've always felt as if I had a different type of Diabetes. For those of you who do not know, I got diagnosed with diabetes at the age of 19 after a mission trip to Mexico. I got very sick down there after drinking some of the water, and after coming back my vision got horrible very quickly. I was also waking up late at night to to go to the bathroom followed by drinking 1/2 - 1 gallon of water before I went back to sleep. My parents noticed something was not right when my dad and I were out to eat one day after work and I drank 4 large glasses of lemonade at Texas Roadhouse. After one of the half dozen nurses in the family suggested we go to the emergency room, I ended up on a table with a blood sugar of 740, fortunate to not be comatose.

I was initially diagnosed and treated as a Type 1 diabetic, later to attempt oral medication for Type 2 diabetes, which did not work, then resorted to just going to the family doctor and treating it as Type 1. I did that for 4-5 years until I moved to SC and saw a doctor at the Medical University of SC. During my first visit she brought up type MODY and suggested that it may be what I have. I had suggested this to doctors before, but they didn't have any knowledge of it. The new doctor said that there are multiple strands of type MODY, and although one or two of them have to be treated with injections, there are others that can be treated with oral medication.

She ordered a test to see if I was still producing antibodies that would show I was a type MODY candidate and the test came back positive. The next test I would have to take to determine how to treat my type of diabetes would have to be a genetic test. I had heard that the testing was very expensive, but as I was going through the process of determining how much it would cost, a nurse told me that I would most likely qualify for a patient assistance program that would cover all of the bill except for $500, so I told them I wanted to get the testing done. Well, it turns out I did not qualify for the program. I called the medical lab conducting the test and they told me I could cancel at any time before the tests were complete, but upon completion I was going to be billed $5000.

I was scared and immediately wanted to cancel the tests. I've been trying so hard to save amidst piles of student loan bills, and that was a large chunk of everything I had saved. The more I thought about it, I realized how awesome it would be to not have to take injections anymore, along with an opportunity at a longer lifetime and less medical cost down the road, so I decided to go through with it.

I'm still concerned about the cost, but I know that God will provide. I've been thinking about fundraising opportunities for it, and thought maybe it would be best to "ask a friend". I know that sometimes people will hold benefits to help pay for medical bills, and also that there are walks and runs for certain medical conditions where people just give blindly to help strangers going through medical trials. I thought maybe there could be an opportunity in this situation that I could use to raise awareness and, in turn, raise donations.

I was wondering if any of my readers have any ideas of how I could raise money to help fund medical research into my own condition? I've considered asking for a certain amount of money per mile I bike or run, but that's about all I can think of. Any ideas would be great. Maybe this is just a time in my life that God is calling me to trust Him financially and give it all over. If that's the case, I'm completely open to it, but I first thought I'd look into what other doors may open.

PRAYER REQUESTS

Please pray about the testing and pray a prayer of healing over the disease that I have. Please pray that God would do financially what He chooses in this situation, and that my faith and trust would be wholly in Him.

Please pray as well for the future mission trip I am going on to Holland. Pray that God would provide the means to go, along with opportunities here and abroad to talk to others about Him during the training time and week long mission trip.

Love you all.

Thoughts from the Wilderness

Over the last year and a half my blogs have consisted of my adventure in following God's calling to Charleston and developing a mission and community in this city. I've developed relationships with young and old, secured multiple places to live, and found a job to financially sustain me during this time. The last few months have been trying as many friends have moved away, many moving to Denver to start a church plant in one of the most unchurched cities in the US. I was able to go back to Wisconsin for a short stay about a month ago when friends who have relocated to multiple cities around the states were also home. I was reminded of the many great friendships I once had, and I've realized how difficult it's been for me to be separated from that for so long. So, I've spent a lot of time the last few weekends reflecting on that and why I haven't been able to find these kinds of friendships in Charleston. What did my friends possess that I haven't been able to find?

I often share my beliefs with those around me, through this blog, through facebook, and through conversation. The reason I do that is because I believe with everything that I am that my Father in Heaven sent His Son as a Savior for a people who could not manage to live a life without committing sins worthy of death. I believe that believing in Jesus and accepting Him as a Savior is the only way into the glory of Heaven, and because I have such a great love for people I continually want to share that with everyone I encounter. There are two things that leads me to do: attempt to show the people around me that a life committed to Jesus is the best way to live, and correcting and building up the other Christians around me to effectively do the same.

When I say things to correct and build up the Christians around me, that's exactly who it is meant for. There is no reason for someone who does not believe what the Bible says to follow anything in it, and I don't expect them to. But, for someone who claims to be a Christian, I expect the respect and love of God to lead them to be obedient to the things asked and expected of them through the Bible. If you consider yourself a Christian, please read this and other things that I post and take whatever you can from them to help apply your beliefs into your life. If you do not consider yourself a Christian, then please read these things as a way to better understand me and the people that I surround myself with.

GROWTH

Growth is so important in all areas of life. Initially I was going to refer to this section with the title of Spiritual Growth, but there's so many other places where one can work to grow. I've realized that there is a lack of desire in a lot of people to put the time into growth. I'm not sure what it is that keeps them from wanting to see an increase in areas of their life, but they seem to have grown content with their current situations. I was once told the analogy, referring to the Christian "walk", that it's like going up the down escalator - if you ever stop growing and moving forward, you go right back to where you started. I think that applies to many more aspects of life than faith. As a Christian, we are at war every day. I just got done watching the movie 300. The men in this movie serve the city of Sparta exactly how we should serve our God. They are always training and learning. They love their king and the people around them enough to live and die for them. Although they all have careers within their city, they do not consider themselves workers in the land, but warriors for their king. I don't want to fight alongside a bunch of warriors who don't practice. I don't want to be protected by a warrior who doesn't care to continually perfect their skill. I need everyone I fight alongside to be continually growing and learning how to look out for me and protect me in battle. The battle can happen at any time and in any circumstance, and I need the people surrounding me in my life to be ready to protect and defend in those times.

ADVENTURE

The American society and culture has taught Generation Y to fear everything. We have "learned" from so many of our experiences that we've concluded the only safe thing to do is avoid everything. Don't drink that. Don't eat that. Don't go there. Avoid these activities. People have learned to chase after comforts rather than finding ways to be comfortable in their current situations. I go on a lot of adventures. I love seeing new things and spending time away from the busyness of life to admire God's creation and the things around me. There is a desire deep down in my heart to experience and learn about new things. So many people had that adventurous spirit stolen from them in their youth by the message of "don't". I hope that those people around me can really learn to put their lives in the hands of God and trust Him to take them through the terrors of the don'ts of life in order to experience the adventure that is involved in following an all-powerful God through the unknowns of blind faith.

RESPECT

I guess I've been watching a few man movies recently, as I also just watched Braveheart. This movie touches on so many different aspects of respect that I see a lack of in the culture surrounding me at this time in my life. William Wallace is respected by all of his followers, whether they've met him or not. They respect him because of his passion, his leadership, and his actions. He had such passion for his wife that after she was killed he spent the rest of his life fighting in remembrance of that action. He led in the manner of servant leadership by being the first person onto the battle field. He acted in ways that showed he was going to continue in the direction he had planned and he was going to give it 110%. It's not how to gain respect that I think needs to be addressed, but how to show it. The men that followed William Wallace believed in him and showed him that by adopting his style of battle. That showed that they trusted him. They listened to his ideas and either agreed or disagreed in a conversational way. They learned about his leadership style and his passions and made sure to shape their roles to compliment his rather than come up against his. They actively pursued a relationship of respect rather than casually trying to be a part of something without putting any work into it. By giving respect to the men and women around us in life, we are able to form much deeper and more meaningful relationships. It all comes back to the Biblical teaching, love others as you want to be loved. Treat them in ways you would want to be treated. Respect them in the ways you hope to be respected.

LEADERSHIP

Everyone is a leader. You may have a position over people at work. Maybe you're a pastor or have some other leadership role at a church. It could be that you have children or a wife that you are leading. Maybe some of your peers look up to you, or maybe there are just a few moments here and there in your life where someone sees what you're doing and appreciates it enough that you lead them to change their life a little in order to be more like what they saw from you. Since we're all leaders in some way, we all need to be careful to make our lives reflect what we believe in. I want to make sure that when people look at any aspect of my life, they see that I'm living for Jesus, whether they believe in Him or not. I want them to see my desire for personal growth, adventure, and my desire to show love and respect to the people around me. As I step into deeper leadership roles in different areas of my life, I continue to reflect on the traits of other leaders and my own leadership style. Although there are many different leadership styles, the leadership style most often loved in movies is the same that was shown during Jesus time on earth: a servant leader. Show that what you expect from others is what you're already living out in your own life.

MORE NEWS

I'll be writing again soon to share a couple ministry opportunities I've recently been given, along with what's going on with my diabetes, as well with some opportunities I may have for you to help.

Love you all!