The Netherlands

I was recently blessed with the opportunity to travel overseas with a small group from my church in order to do ministry alongside a sister church of ours in Hilversum in The Netherlands. I jumped on the opportunity when it came up for a lot of reasons, but mainly because I want to continue to discover my passions in ministry through obedience to God's word. Also, I'm half Dutch and I had a strong desire to go and see where my ancestors came from. As our flight entered the airspace above The Netherlands I was overcome with emotions. It was such a huge blessing to have the opportunity to return somewhere where my ancestors had lived their lives and followed the same God I was going back to proclaim.

Most of our time was spent painting areas of the church. They had an interior decorator that attended their church who went through and discussed with them how to make the church look more inviting. Every day the team would paint and I would be given all the random handyman jobs around the church. There were some awesome people there that we were able to work alongside. There are two American missionaries that are part of the church who took care of us every day. The wife made sure our stomachs were always filled with the most amazing foods, and the husband was able to spend quality time with many people on our trip building into them. The facility dude, Rudy, was always around to encourage us and make sure we were doing everything the way it needed to get done. And, the intern, Floris, made every job I had to do so much easier by knowing the answers to every question I could think to ask about what I was supposed to do and where to find certain tools. The pastor, Sebastian, was really encouraging to our entire team with his passion and his vision for Thousand Hills International Church. So many other great people supported us while we were there.

We also spent some time working alongside the children's ministry. We helped with a Christmas story night where parents from the surrounding area brought their children to church to walk through multiple scenes of the Christmas story. We also got together with the children's ministry volunteers one night and we were able to brainstorm with them about ways to improve the children's ministry for the church, the parents, and the children.

I was cutting drywall on the second day and ended up slicing my thumb open pretty badly. It was quickly decided that I needed to go to the hospital, so I got to experience the Dutch ER first hand! It was very similar to the American ER, except that due to the absence of an Urgent Care, there are a lot more emergencies.

I felt like we were really able to help the church accomplish some things that would've taken a lot longer without us, but even more-so, I realized the importance for our church to build a deeper relationship with their church. I've always been very passionate about the way churches communicate and live together. I've never agreed with the fact that Christian churches, who all serve the same God and are asked to be obedient in the same ways, fail to come together in community. It was awesome to spend time with a family that loves the Lord as much as I do, that I didn't even know existed.

God really used this trip to deepen my passion for international ministries and relational evangelism. I'm sure that at some point in my life God is going to call me to be a part of something large in ministry. I could honestly sit here for hours in awe of how amazing it felt to be a part of the church service at Thousand Hills. I literally feel like I met family members in that church, and after only a couple hours I felt like I was a part of what was going on over there. Thank you so much for praying and for those who were able to financially support the trip! I hope that not only through this trip, but through my future, you'll be able to see the fruits of your gifts.

THANKSGIVING / CHRISTMAS

I just wanted to quickly tell the story of how God maneuvered my plans to get me home to Wisconsin for both holidays with hardly any money out of my pocket! I had originally decided it was going to be too expensive to come home for the holidays so I was trying to figure out what I could do to get home at some point when my boss came up to me and mentioned a work trip to Chicago. It took me a few minutes before it hit me, but I ended up making it work out that I could go home for the weekend after finishing the job on Friday. My business trip ended up switching to Monday, so I changed my plans around a little, then came home and the entire trip actually got cancelled Monday morning after I was able to spend the weekend with my family!

On the way back from the Netherlands, we missed our flight from DC to Charleston due to weather delays coming out of Amsterdam. As we were trying to reschedule flights and get back home I decided it would be worth pursuing the option of switching my flight to Chicago instead of Charleston. A couple strings had to get pulled but I ended up being able to fly home for a few days for Christmas and I was able to see my parents and some really close friends that I hadn't seen in a while. I also got to go snowboarding, but my body is still telling me that that was actually a bad thing.

But, God had plans that were greater than mine and far above mine which allowed me to go home and see my parents twice in this season when I had no idea that it was going to happen at all!

Thank you for all your prayers! There are a lot more pictures from Holland posted on my facebook page for you to look at. And please, ask me any questions you might have about my trip! If it's a good question, I might even just write another blog to answer it!

Love y'all!

Mission Trip to Holland

In a few days I'll be on an airplane travelling to The Netherlands. It's approached so quickly!

I just wanted to quickly thank everyone who has walked alongside me so far on this trip by either financially supporting me or praying for me. I was blessed by friends and family and was able to raise all of the financial support necessary for the trip. Thank you all for your loving hearts and your missional passion! I love that my passion to go out to the world in Jesus' name was accompanied by the passion of many to send someone out in Jesus' name.

I have learned more about what we might be doing over there since I was last able to update everyone. The church we are going to visit wants to function the same exact way my church in Charleston functions. We're going to walk alongside them and share ministry ideas with them, along with encouraging them as a church, and directing staff/volunteers on how our church in Charleston does certain things to improve the weekly worship experience.

I'll be part of our team's Construction team. I'm not sure what we'll be doing yet, but I can't wait to get my hands on some tools and go to work!

I'm really going to value the time away to really reflect on where God is leading me and "pause" from everything that life is continually throwing at me. The places I've always heard best from God are the times where I'm uncomfortable and surrounded by things that are unknown, similar to when I first moved to Charleston. I know that God is going to use this time to break me, to build me back up in His mission.

PRAYER REQUESTS

Please pray for great communication and growth within the team.

Pray for personal growth. That I would experience God in a new way and that our relationship would grow to a deeper level.

Pray that my life would be open to where God wants me to go.

Love you all and cannot wait to tell you how things go!

The Road Ahead

When I sit back and look at where I am and where I've been, it's hard to believe. I'm sure there are times in your life when you have felt the same way. Maybe there were some rough areas you went through and after you escaped from them you looked back and could not believe you managed to get out of them. Or, maybe like me, you just had a completely different plan for your life than the one that unfolded. I didn't ever think I'd be where I am today, but as I look at the possibilities ahead of me because of where I am right now, I can't help but be filled with so much excitement for the adventure God has in store for me!

PREFACE

When I originally went to school for Communication my thought process was that I had two choices. I could either go to school for something that could make me a lot of money, or I could go to college and do whatever I needed to do to go into full time ministry. As I was thinking about that decision I ended up reading a passage in the Bible that discusses how difficult it is for a rich man to get into the kingdom of Heaven. The passage compares the difficulty to that of a camel going through the eye of a needle. I don't want greed and the idol of money to blur my vision of God, so I chose a degree in Communication, believing that it was going to be the first step into full-time ministry. I had dreams of going to remote villages and living life with the people there in order to tell them about Jesus. Well, I got diagnosed with diabetes when I was 19, which made me completely dependent on insulin, putting an end to any dreams of being anywhere away from doctors and pharmacies for an extended amount of time. I thought the dream was behind me and ended up moving into an engineering degree a few years later, assuming that God had shut the door on a paid position in ministry.

RECENT REVELATIONS

Ever since I settled into the working world I've felt distanced from ministry. Even though most of my spare time goes into it, I haven't been able to feel like I'm fulfilling the passion God has put in my heart for it. I've been thinking and praying about what God might have for me. I know there must be a way to serve Him in greater amounts, but so far I've failed to figure out what that might be. Well, for the last two weeks I've been trying to decide whether it was God's desire for me to go on a mission's trip to Holland or if it was my own desire. Most of the time when I receive a support letter or know a friend raising support for something, I judge whether to give and how much to give based on their passion for what they're doing and whether I think they're doing it for the right reasons. I understand that has a lot to do with how I feel, which could easily involve human error, but I figure it's the best thing I can do to keep from emptying the bank account every time I know someone that goes on a mission trip. Well, I wanted to make sure that the people I am asking for financial assistance were being asked by someone who was being led to go on this trip by the Lord and not choosing to go on it out of his own will.

The more I prayed about the trip and thought about why I was going, the more I realized that this is a great opportunity for God to speak to me about my future in ministry. The ability to go to another country on a mission's trip always opens up your eyes a lot more to what's going on around you and gives a much clearer vision of what God's plan might be for your life. Someone shared with me a few weeks ago that short-term mission trips are more beneficial in bringing change in the lives of the people going than the lives of the people being served, and I believe that that's probably true most of the time. I definitely hope to go on this mission's trip to serve the people of Holland, but I also have a strong feeling that God will give me direction during this trip into how I can shape my life now in order to devote myself to ministry better in the future. At some point I would love to do full-time ministry, but I'm completely lost as to how that might happen right now.

So, I've pretty much realized that I don't really want your support to go aid a church in a different country for a week, but I ask for your support to help me discover the vision for a ministry for the rest of my life. I love that I will have the opportunity to work alongside a church, and I'm sure we will do some great things! But, I also know that there are probably people there capable of doing those things as well. I want to develop the passion I have for ministry and allow God to feed wisdom to me on how to develop my life into one of full time ministry.

What I need from you guys is a lot of prayer. I need advice and wisdom. I need financial assistance. God can teach us a lot through the Bible. I consider it my manual on how to love God, my playbook, and my owner's manual on life. It definitely has a lot of answers and gives a lot of direction, but God created the church to create community, and I need the benefits of that community. I really don't know what I would do for full time ministry or how to transition into full time ministry from where I am right now. Or, maybe my life and my schedule just need some rearranging and I just need to get myself into a different type of ministry. There are things people on the outside see about my passion and my skills that I can't see about myself, and I need to know those things in order to determine what direction to go.

Financial assistance is always a hard thing to ask for, but that's why I wanted to share my heart. It's easy for some people to see giving money for someone to go on a mission's trip as giving money for someone to go on a glorified vacation, and that's what I've spent the last two weeks praying about. I didn't want to go on this trip if it was just going to be a glorified vacation. I want to show God my obedience in the small things, in hopes that He will trust me with the big things, which in this case would be a glimpse at the future and vision for my ministry. As of right now I've raised $75 out of $2000, and it's been about a month. That's a long way to go! Based on my blogs from the past, I know there are going to be about 100 people that at least open this page, and just $5 from everyone would make a huge difference. No gift is too small. Please pray about it and consider helping me develop a vision. God is going to put it on some people's hearts to support me in this way, and He won't with others. I trust that He will supply for my financial needs if He truly wants me on this trip.

Cut and paste this link if you would like to give. seacoa.st/thewellholland

I truly love everyone who takes time to read these posts. If there is any way I can share more about my life or any questions that have come up, please ask. I'm an open book!

Love you all!

The Valley - Desolation Transforming into Wells of Life

I went to the beach after work today. I found a raised area of sand to sit on because I hadn't thought to bring a chair. I began to read the book "Love Does" that a friend let me borrow after I agreed to read it as quickly as possible. I paused shortly after beginning to read. I'd allowed myself to get so busy and caught up in life and the activities taking place that I completely forgot why the beach had so often been my safe haven, my mountain top.

I looked out over the water and remembered a time God had spoken to me letting me know that just as the waves appear out of the sea without ceasing, so is His presence in my life. 

I looked up to the sky to see some terns fly over my head and remembered when God had told me that with Him I can fly on wings like an eagle. I've wanted to fly away so badly lately. If I could just launch myself in the air and remove myself from life I would feel so free!

I looked at the children playing in the water, the old man and his wife walking through the surf, and the teenage boy learning how to boogie board. These are the people that I'm living for. God didn't reveal Himself to me so that I could live a great and successful life for myself. God revealed Himself to me so that I could live a great life for those around me.

I started to feel refreshed. The more I read the book, the more I felt the problems that entered my life last weekend slowly fade to mere raindrops from the hurricane that they seemed. God has this awesome quality that whenever we seek Him earnestly, He grants us comfort and shows us that He's in control.

Last Wednesday I was boarding an airplane to Jackson, MS for a two day work trip and I got a call from Wells Fargo telling me that they wanted to review some potential fraudulent charges on my account. She began to read off charges in the hundreds of dollars for online game sites, non-profits, hotel rooms, and all sorts of stuff. It sounded like someone had emptied my bank account overnight! Fortunately, Wells Fargo was able to keep the bank from processing a lot of the payments and refunded me for the few that they couldn't stop, all in the few minutes before I boarded!

On Friday I called my doctor's office to ask whether or not they had received results from my diabetic testing yet. They told me they hadn't but they'd call the lab and see if they had finished them yet. While I was waiting I drove to a fairly secluded beach about an hour away and just sat there reflecting on everything going on in my life- from my job, to volunteering with the college and 20s ministry at church, to the dreams I had for my life that I still hadn't accomplished. While sitting on the beach I got a phone call letting me know that they got my results and that all three tests came back negative. I had originally had testing done to see if I was producing my own insulin, and because I was producing some in small amounts I was eligible for the genetic testing. The doctor had made it sound like I was going to be one of three types of type MODY. Well, I guess I misunderstood because the tests came back negative and the nurse told me that I am a type 1 diabetic and will have to continue taking insulin injections. That was tough to hear. I had been running all kinds of scenarios through my mind of new possibilities that could present themselves if I could take an oral medication.

On Saturday morning I drove out to a sod farm halfway to Columbia in hopes of finding a bird that I hadn't seen yet this year. I'm not sure if I've discussed this yet, but I have been trying to see 300 species of birds in South Carolina this year. For those of you who have seen The Big Year, it's very similar. I like to think of it like one of the I Spy books that I used to read as a kid. I'm at 280, but the birds I still need to see can only be seen during migration. As I was driving down the dirt roads of the sod farm I almost got stuck in a few areas where the road was soft because of the recent storms we've been having. I never found the bird and right before I was going to leave I hit a pothole and my front shock started making a lot of noise. My car air conditioning hasn't been working, but I've been hoping to keep it running for a while in order to get through all the traveling necessary for my goal of 300. Toyota Corollas get much better gas mileage than trucks! I've decided not to drive it until I can determine what's wrong with the shock, then hopefully I can fix it on my own.

Sunday morning I woke up shivering as one of our house guests enjoyed sleeping with a lot of blankets on and I wasn't prepared. I decided that instead of going back to sleep I'd take advantage of the 5:30 wake-up time and take a trip to a new location where a different bird I needed had been seen on Saturday evening. I ended up having a potty attack and had to drive down the first dirt road that I came across. The dirt turned to mud very quickly and I was sliding all over the road before I could react. I ended up stuck perpendicular to the road. I guess God was trying to show me that they make 4-wheel drive for a reason! First, a visit to the woods, then I started trying to rock the truck in and out of the muddy rut that my back tires were in, but I only seemed to make it worse. I began to collect branches and sticks to jab under my tires in hopes of gaining some sort of traction, but it wasn't enough to overcome the 6 inches of mud I had sunk into. My phone didn't have any service, so I walked in prayer a mile back to the gas station. I had only asked God that getting out would be easier than it seemed it would be. My original intent was to enter the gas station and ask for the phone book and if I could borrow the phone. I was going to break the bank calling for a tow truck in that area of the state at 7 am on a Sunday, but it's the only option that came to mind. I was on my way to the door when I saw some older men talking and hanging out on the side of the building. I approached them and asked if they knew anyone with the ability to tow someone out of 6" of mud. I explained what happened and that I didn't have 4-wheel drive. God answered my prayer as they got a strap out and we all loaded into a mid-sized SUV. I finally figured out the definition of the word emasculated.... it describes the way you feel when your tough truck gets pulled out of the mud by the vehicle of a middle-class soccer mom! 

I proceeded to my destination where I spent 4 hours looking but missed the bird. During the drive back the truck started beeping with a low-pressure tire alert. I stopped every half hour to try to figure out what tire it was, but everything looked fine the entire drive home. I took a nap when I got home and woke up to my truck being 4" lower in the front than I left it.

All this happened on top of the fact that we're losing a couple employees at work and my work load feels like it has tripled over the last week. All I could think was that I was getting punished for something I had done. How did all that happen in the matter of a few days? I learned that my health was not going to improve. I nearly lost all the money I had saved. And I broke both of my vehicles. On top of that, I could've gotten up to 282 birds, but I was still stuck at a lousy 280!

Well, nothing great has happened to suddenly overwrite everything that happened. God has done a lot of teaching over the last few days, and reminding me how critical it is to let Him carry my burdens for me. I'm continually trying to work on the idea that it's selfish to not let Him help, but the man in me wants to do everything without the help of others. I was fortunate enough to get the tire fixed for free, but the solution to everything else will have to come in time. 

I don't know why all this happened, but I do know that God has a plan. I was once again comforted with the image of me walking behind God, staring at His back, knowing that as long as I didn't stray from the path He was leading me on, everything was going to be greater than I could imagine! Sometimes God allows us to be attacked as He did Job, and in those times He promises to never leave us or forsake us. So, I'm resting on those promises. I'm giving my burdens to Him to carry, and I'm blindly following where He leads, knowing that life is an adventure and God is my trail guide.

PRAYER REQUESTS

Please pray that I would not get discouraged, but that I would continue to seek God and His will for my life right now.

Pray for the opportunity I've recently been given to be a leader at theWELL ministry at church. That I would effectively reach people by planning community events and that those people would be led into relationships with churches and Christians because of the events.

Pray that my vision would be a reflection of God's vision.

Pray that my heart and mind would be prepared for what ends up taking place during my trip to Holland in December. Pray that I would be in a state of mind that allows the Holy Spirit to speak through me as He promises. More information about this trip can be read about in an event I recently created on facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/events/432200530232227/

Love you all!

What is Diabetes MODY?

I've always felt as if I had a different type of Diabetes. For those of you who do not know, I got diagnosed with diabetes at the age of 19 after a mission trip to Mexico. I got very sick down there after drinking some of the water, and after coming back my vision got horrible very quickly. I was also waking up late at night to to go to the bathroom followed by drinking 1/2 - 1 gallon of water before I went back to sleep. My parents noticed something was not right when my dad and I were out to eat one day after work and I drank 4 large glasses of lemonade at Texas Roadhouse. After one of the half dozen nurses in the family suggested we go to the emergency room, I ended up on a table with a blood sugar of 740, fortunate to not be comatose.

I was initially diagnosed and treated as a Type 1 diabetic, later to attempt oral medication for Type 2 diabetes, which did not work, then resorted to just going to the family doctor and treating it as Type 1. I did that for 4-5 years until I moved to SC and saw a doctor at the Medical University of SC. During my first visit she brought up type MODY and suggested that it may be what I have. I had suggested this to doctors before, but they didn't have any knowledge of it. The new doctor said that there are multiple strands of type MODY, and although one or two of them have to be treated with injections, there are others that can be treated with oral medication.

She ordered a test to see if I was still producing antibodies that would show I was a type MODY candidate and the test came back positive. The next test I would have to take to determine how to treat my type of diabetes would have to be a genetic test. I had heard that the testing was very expensive, but as I was going through the process of determining how much it would cost, a nurse told me that I would most likely qualify for a patient assistance program that would cover all of the bill except for $500, so I told them I wanted to get the testing done. Well, it turns out I did not qualify for the program. I called the medical lab conducting the test and they told me I could cancel at any time before the tests were complete, but upon completion I was going to be billed $5000.

I was scared and immediately wanted to cancel the tests. I've been trying so hard to save amidst piles of student loan bills, and that was a large chunk of everything I had saved. The more I thought about it, I realized how awesome it would be to not have to take injections anymore, along with an opportunity at a longer lifetime and less medical cost down the road, so I decided to go through with it.

I'm still concerned about the cost, but I know that God will provide. I've been thinking about fundraising opportunities for it, and thought maybe it would be best to "ask a friend". I know that sometimes people will hold benefits to help pay for medical bills, and also that there are walks and runs for certain medical conditions where people just give blindly to help strangers going through medical trials. I thought maybe there could be an opportunity in this situation that I could use to raise awareness and, in turn, raise donations.

I was wondering if any of my readers have any ideas of how I could raise money to help fund medical research into my own condition? I've considered asking for a certain amount of money per mile I bike or run, but that's about all I can think of. Any ideas would be great. Maybe this is just a time in my life that God is calling me to trust Him financially and give it all over. If that's the case, I'm completely open to it, but I first thought I'd look into what other doors may open.

PRAYER REQUESTS

Please pray about the testing and pray a prayer of healing over the disease that I have. Please pray that God would do financially what He chooses in this situation, and that my faith and trust would be wholly in Him.

Please pray as well for the future mission trip I am going on to Holland. Pray that God would provide the means to go, along with opportunities here and abroad to talk to others about Him during the training time and week long mission trip.

Love you all.

Thoughts from the Wilderness

Over the last year and a half my blogs have consisted of my adventure in following God's calling to Charleston and developing a mission and community in this city. I've developed relationships with young and old, secured multiple places to live, and found a job to financially sustain me during this time. The last few months have been trying as many friends have moved away, many moving to Denver to start a church plant in one of the most unchurched cities in the US. I was able to go back to Wisconsin for a short stay about a month ago when friends who have relocated to multiple cities around the states were also home. I was reminded of the many great friendships I once had, and I've realized how difficult it's been for me to be separated from that for so long. So, I've spent a lot of time the last few weekends reflecting on that and why I haven't been able to find these kinds of friendships in Charleston. What did my friends possess that I haven't been able to find?

I often share my beliefs with those around me, through this blog, through facebook, and through conversation. The reason I do that is because I believe with everything that I am that my Father in Heaven sent His Son as a Savior for a people who could not manage to live a life without committing sins worthy of death. I believe that believing in Jesus and accepting Him as a Savior is the only way into the glory of Heaven, and because I have such a great love for people I continually want to share that with everyone I encounter. There are two things that leads me to do: attempt to show the people around me that a life committed to Jesus is the best way to live, and correcting and building up the other Christians around me to effectively do the same.

When I say things to correct and build up the Christians around me, that's exactly who it is meant for. There is no reason for someone who does not believe what the Bible says to follow anything in it, and I don't expect them to. But, for someone who claims to be a Christian, I expect the respect and love of God to lead them to be obedient to the things asked and expected of them through the Bible. If you consider yourself a Christian, please read this and other things that I post and take whatever you can from them to help apply your beliefs into your life. If you do not consider yourself a Christian, then please read these things as a way to better understand me and the people that I surround myself with.

GROWTH

Growth is so important in all areas of life. Initially I was going to refer to this section with the title of Spiritual Growth, but there's so many other places where one can work to grow. I've realized that there is a lack of desire in a lot of people to put the time into growth. I'm not sure what it is that keeps them from wanting to see an increase in areas of their life, but they seem to have grown content with their current situations. I was once told the analogy, referring to the Christian "walk", that it's like going up the down escalator - if you ever stop growing and moving forward, you go right back to where you started. I think that applies to many more aspects of life than faith. As a Christian, we are at war every day. I just got done watching the movie 300. The men in this movie serve the city of Sparta exactly how we should serve our God. They are always training and learning. They love their king and the people around them enough to live and die for them. Although they all have careers within their city, they do not consider themselves workers in the land, but warriors for their king. I don't want to fight alongside a bunch of warriors who don't practice. I don't want to be protected by a warrior who doesn't care to continually perfect their skill. I need everyone I fight alongside to be continually growing and learning how to look out for me and protect me in battle. The battle can happen at any time and in any circumstance, and I need the people surrounding me in my life to be ready to protect and defend in those times.

ADVENTURE

The American society and culture has taught Generation Y to fear everything. We have "learned" from so many of our experiences that we've concluded the only safe thing to do is avoid everything. Don't drink that. Don't eat that. Don't go there. Avoid these activities. People have learned to chase after comforts rather than finding ways to be comfortable in their current situations. I go on a lot of adventures. I love seeing new things and spending time away from the busyness of life to admire God's creation and the things around me. There is a desire deep down in my heart to experience and learn about new things. So many people had that adventurous spirit stolen from them in their youth by the message of "don't". I hope that those people around me can really learn to put their lives in the hands of God and trust Him to take them through the terrors of the don'ts of life in order to experience the adventure that is involved in following an all-powerful God through the unknowns of blind faith.

RESPECT

I guess I've been watching a few man movies recently, as I also just watched Braveheart. This movie touches on so many different aspects of respect that I see a lack of in the culture surrounding me at this time in my life. William Wallace is respected by all of his followers, whether they've met him or not. They respect him because of his passion, his leadership, and his actions. He had such passion for his wife that after she was killed he spent the rest of his life fighting in remembrance of that action. He led in the manner of servant leadership by being the first person onto the battle field. He acted in ways that showed he was going to continue in the direction he had planned and he was going to give it 110%. It's not how to gain respect that I think needs to be addressed, but how to show it. The men that followed William Wallace believed in him and showed him that by adopting his style of battle. That showed that they trusted him. They listened to his ideas and either agreed or disagreed in a conversational way. They learned about his leadership style and his passions and made sure to shape their roles to compliment his rather than come up against his. They actively pursued a relationship of respect rather than casually trying to be a part of something without putting any work into it. By giving respect to the men and women around us in life, we are able to form much deeper and more meaningful relationships. It all comes back to the Biblical teaching, love others as you want to be loved. Treat them in ways you would want to be treated. Respect them in the ways you hope to be respected.

LEADERSHIP

Everyone is a leader. You may have a position over people at work. Maybe you're a pastor or have some other leadership role at a church. It could be that you have children or a wife that you are leading. Maybe some of your peers look up to you, or maybe there are just a few moments here and there in your life where someone sees what you're doing and appreciates it enough that you lead them to change their life a little in order to be more like what they saw from you. Since we're all leaders in some way, we all need to be careful to make our lives reflect what we believe in. I want to make sure that when people look at any aspect of my life, they see that I'm living for Jesus, whether they believe in Him or not. I want them to see my desire for personal growth, adventure, and my desire to show love and respect to the people around me. As I step into deeper leadership roles in different areas of my life, I continue to reflect on the traits of other leaders and my own leadership style. Although there are many different leadership styles, the leadership style most often loved in movies is the same that was shown during Jesus time on earth: a servant leader. Show that what you expect from others is what you're already living out in your own life.

MORE NEWS

I'll be writing again soon to share a couple ministry opportunities I've recently been given, along with what's going on with my diabetes, as well with some opportunities I may have for you to help.

Love you all!

One Year Later

My First Year in Charleston

Wow. I've realized there's a huge difference between trying to see God working in a moment and looking to see how God has worked over a period of time. With the absence of modern day miracles that we experience in the United States, it's very difficult to see God working in the moment. It's much easier to see when you look back over a period of time as I've been doing recently.

Exactly a year ago today I woke up at a rest stop just outside Charleston. I had no idea where I was going to live, work, or who I would meet. I had just driven about 15 hours from Wisconsin in my Toyota Corolla, packed full of everything I would need to comfortably live for a summer in Charleston. After about a year of praying where God wanted me to go after graduating, I felt led to move to a city I had never been to before, with nothing but a car full of belongings.

The first thing I did that day was went to the beach. I always got a larger sense of God at the ocean. It amazes me that the waves never stop, day or night, from crashing onto the sandy beaches. After a morning walk on the beach I headed over to the nearest Starbucks. I wanted to get out of my car and into a more comfortable living situation as quickly as I could. I checked Couchsurfer, craigslist, apartment complexes, and other options around the area and didn't find anything that seemed like the right fit. I search for jobs and applied for as many as I could find, then eventually felt like I had put in all the time I could for the day and made my way back to the beach. I immediately started forming relationships with some of the people on the beach.

The first few days all looked the same. I would sleep in my car in the WalMart parking lot, although, due to the heat and humidity at night I wouldn't sleep very much. Then, the next morning I'd go to Starbucks and search the web, followed by a trip to the beach where I'd catch up on the sleep I didn't get in the car. After my nap I'd hang out with some of the people I'd met the day before, maybe play some basketball, then back to Starbucks at night to check my e-mail and see if I had a place to sleep yet.

After a few days being homeless had taken a toll on me. I had hardly gotten any sleep, and I was constantly having to stop at convenience stores and fast food restaurants in order to get ice so that my 3 month insulin supply would stay cold. I had gone to the beach and just spent some time praying about what the next steps were if I didn't find a place to live. I got a phone call from a friend who had reminded me that there was a church service I had wanted to go to that night at SeaCoast Church.

Before I left Wisconsin I had researched what churches in the area were a good fit and I had made a list of a few that I had hoped to check out until God led me to call one of them home. SeaCoast had a Saturday night service, so it was already in a league of it's own!

I went to church that night expecting something huge. Maybe the pastor would have a vision of someone in the church who needed a place to live, or maybe someone would just approach me to ask me if I needed anything. Well, the church service came and went, and although I had met a few people, I still didn't have a place to live. I went out to my car in the parking lot and took out my laptop. The church ended up having wi-fi, so I hung out for a little while hoping to find something online. I came up empty again, but as I was hanging out in the parking lot, I noticed quite a few people my age hanging out. I packed my stuff up and headed inside to see what was going on. It turns out that the college and 20-somethings ministry was hosting a musicians night to raise money for some of their summer mission trips. I met a few people, then got into a conversation with a woman about what led me to the service.

We started talking about where I moved from and why I moved. Then, she asked the money question. "Where are you staying?". Well, I told her that I didn't know yet but I had been living in my car for a few days. Right then, a girl who had either just been walking by or recently joined the conversation heard me and immediately offered me a room in an apartment she had downtown.

The road wasn't smooth from that point on. The housing situation was always fairly temporary until recently, where I'm finally settled into my third home since moving here. Fourth, if you count my car, or fifth, if you count the week I was homeless in between the first and second houses. God has been great in it though. Times were tough and I never really had a back-up plan, but I knew that all I had to do was keep putting one foot ahead of the other, and God was either going to put something under my foot so I could progress forward, or He was going to put up a road block in order to change my direction.

The job search was not ideal either. It can be read about in some of my earlier blogs, along with the rest of my story, but after spending a summer job searching, I literally felt like I had applied to every job I possibly could. I had networked with everyone I encountered. I just felt like I had to wait. I ended up waiting for a little while between the scare of not having any employment at the end of the summer and getting a job graciously offered by the dad of a friend. It was so good to finally have something to do and finally feel some worth! I worked there for a little while before the company I'm now working for contacted me, for the third time, to finally offer me a position. It started as a contract position, but in January became a full-time salary position. The company is great and I can definitely say that my knowledge is increasing.

I finally found an area of ministry to concentrate in. I didn't really need to choose anything previously, because I had enough free time to volunteer with everything. Now, I have felt led to concentrate on volunteering with the college and 20's ministry at SeaCoast, which is going to be awesome next year. Almost all of the staff have teamed up to go start a church plant in Denver, so the volunteers are working together with the new staff to really figure out how to have the greatest impact on the community of Charleston. By being a part of this community I've been able to build relationships with people that are building into me, as well as seeking out certain relationships where I can build into others.

I've slowly been taking steps toward starting A Helping Hand and Praise Jam as well. I know that they'll happen in God's time, just as everything else has happened in God's time. If you were to look through my prayer requests in all my previous blogs, you would see that God has been showing up SO much over the last year! He has been supplying me with my every need and desire. He is truly taking care of me every step of the way as long as I seek Him first as Matthew 6:33 teaches.

What to Look Forward to in the Future?

So much has already happened in the last year. I have formed so many more relationships than I ever would've expected. I'm involved in my church, in my job, in organizations outside of my job, and with relationships that I started on the beach recently and a year ago.

I can't even imagine what God is going to do for me over the next year. I would love to see A Helping Hand and Praise Jam take off to the point where I'm reaching people with the news of Christ through both of them.  I've always believed that God has developed passions inside everyone with hopes that we take those passions by the reigns and follow them wherever they lead us. If this is true, then I know God is going to use my passion in both these areas to do things that I can't even comprehend right now.

I went to the doctor today for a diabetic check-up. The last time I was in the office the doctor had me do some blood tests that were meant to determine whether I may have a fairly new type of diabetes, type MODY. I found out today that it is very likely that I have type MODY, which is different than type 1 or 2. Some consider it type 1.5, but there are actually 4 types of MODY, so the doctor hopes to do genetic testing on me to determine what type I have. She told me that depending on what type I have, there's a chance I could just take an oral medication instead of taking the injections that have been a daily part of my life over the last 7 years. It's been a prayer of mine for 7 years that there would be a better way, and that I would find a doctor who would believe me when I told them I didn't have type 1 or 2. The day has finally come. As hopeful tears of joy wash down my face right now, I know that God has been there, taking care of me every day, watching me seek Him out, and waiting for His perfect time. I still don't know what is going to become of this. I was told by the doctor that genetic testing is very expensive and not covered very well, if at all, by insurance. I'm not sure how I'll be able to pay for it, or what they'll discover when it happens, but I know that God is in control and I can trust Him to take me through it just as He always has.



To everyone who reads these, I love you all so much. It means the world to me that people are invested in my life enough to follow what's going on in it and what God's doing in me and through me. If you ever need prayer, or have questions about anything I've written about, please talk to me about it.

With Christ's Love,
Kevin

My Story: Part II

Every aspect of my life was changing and I didn’t even realize it. The group of friends I hung out with was changing without me even thinking about it. The activities I was participating in were completely different, and I didn’t care much that I was giving up the things from before. I’ve realized through time that I often separate myself from things when I know I’m going to have to leave them, and that’s exactly what happened as I went into my senior year of high school. This is a story about relationships.

Around the beginning of my senior year I got invited to go to a Bible study by a friend of mine. I knew of a few guys who went, but hadn’t hung out with them or really talked to them before. I had been involved in a co-ed Bible study before this, but this wasn’t just a Bible study. It was a support group. It was a group of guys who all wanted to do whatever we could to help the other guys understand God better and grow in a deeper relationship with Him.

I’ve realized that there are a lot of people in life who are going to be temporary friends. They’re people who you enjoy hanging out with and spending time with, but time apart leads to more and more separation until you no longer have anything in common. There are other people, who due to the amount of time you spend with them or the common interests that you have, who will stand the test of time and always be friends. They know you well enough and understand where you’re going enough that even in 20 years, they’ll still be a friend even if not currently present in your life. These are the kind of friendships I began to put my time into.

The friends I met through the Bible study are friends I’ll have for the rest of my life. They’re guys who wouldn’t let me mess up. Trying to hide things wasn’t an option. I fell into conviction every week. Every time I opened the Bible I was reading about the way God was hoping I would live my life. I began to want to live in a new way in order to honor Him for the sacrifice He made. I’ve recently heard some preaching about how heart-broken Jesus must’ve been about dying on the cross for Him to have started sweating blood while praying days before. He knowingly let people torture and kill Him. For the first time in His life, His Father couldn’t look at Him and turned His face away. He knew all that was coming, but still allowed Himself to be crucified because of His love for us and His love for God. The more I realized this, the more I wanted to repay Him with obedience.

I quickly learned and understood that “bad company corrupts good character” as 1 Corinthians 15:33 teaches. I was continually being held to a higher standard, and it helped me to escape areas of sin in my life that I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge previously. I was changing, and because of it, I was losing friends very quickly. Although, I was gaining friends that I’d have for a lifetime.

The time came for me to pick a college to attend. I didn’t want to go on college visits. It seemed like a huge waste of time. I just started praying about where God would lead me and that my mind would just be free to follow His will. I had gone to the University of Wisconsin – La Crosse to visit a friend once before and as the decision came to pick a school, La Crosse seemed like the only option. I had heard from multiple people that they had a really great Campus Crusade for Christ movement. They were also being labeled as a tougher school to get into than Madison, and I’ve always enjoyed a challenge. I hadn’t been too sure what I wanted to go to school for yet, but there was a passage of the Bible that was in my mind the entire time. In Matthew 19:16-30, a rich young man comes to Jesus and asks Him what he needs to do to go to Heaven. Jesus tells him some of the commandments and the man tells Jesus that he has followed those commandments. Then, Jesus tells him to sell all his possessions and give the money to the poor. At this point the man went away.

I’ve always gotten fairly good grades, and I have a mathematical mind that I knew could take me into professional fields where I would make a lot of money. But, I was scared. I didn’t want to gain the amount of possessions or have the kind of money that would keep me from fully following God, so I initially got scared away from scientific fields. I knew I wanted to spend my life telling people about Jesus, so I decided to go to La Crosse and get a Communication degree in preparation for going into full-time ministry.

I continued to get closer and closer to the guys in Bible study. I never would’ve become who I am without them. I had started getting really close with my friend Nick who ended up going to La Crosse with me the next year. I also was surprised at how much I could learn from two guys my own age: Mark and Chris. Both of these guys were teaching me something new every time I was with them. They were challenging me to be a new person and teaching me how to honor God with all of my actions. All of my life I thought if you were a Christian, you were good to go. The more I learned, the more I realized that the Christian life is an ever-growing relationship with God. A great analogy I was taught in Bible study was that the Christian faith is similar to walking up a down escalator. If we keep working hard and moving forward, we get closer and closer in our relationship with God, but as soon as we stop walking up, we start to go back down to where we came from. There is no stagnant area that I had previously believed in. My faith was becoming one of love and obedience.

I left high school with quite a few friends. Guys and girls I had met and hung out with through church and Bible study and a few guys and girls from high school. I don’t know what I would’ve done without any of these relationships. It taught me something that I think a lot of young Christians overlook; friendships outside of your church group are just as important as the friendships within the group. So many young people I’ve encountered leave all their friends behind when they start hanging out with young people involved in their church activities. Jesus taught us something different. Although the disciples were His closest group of friends, He often spent time with those people outside his group of disciples. He had dinner with them and spent time with them, even when His disciples weren’t present. I’m glad that my life has always left room for friends from all areas of my life, because I’ve learned a lot from all of them.

I got to UWL and got involved with Campus Crusade as quickly as possible. I didn’t want to leave any room for temptation and mistakes. I quickly met some great people and began to get involved with as many activities as I could. The greatest friendships were formed with the people who I knew would be around when I needed to escape. I always knew I could stop in my friend Nick’s room and hang out for a little while. It was also a much easier place to meet people due to his prime location near the exit door. I also had some friends I would hang out with off campus. I realized that there are times when the best way to think and listen to God is to remove yourself from everything you need to hear from God about. This is something I was able to begin learning during my time in high school with friends like Kristy, Elyse, Rem, and Dan, but I hadn’t completely understood it until I started hanging out by the exit door of Nick’s dorm room.

At the end of my freshman year I found out about an opportunity to go on a trip called a summer project. I ended up applying for a couple locations and praying that God would open the doors if He wanted me to go. Everything ended up working out. I wrote support letters and raised the necessary money to go on the trip, and ended up going to San Diego for three months and working at Sea World. I met a ton of awesome people during my time there, and learned a lot about different ways to share my faith with the people around me. It was an awesome experience.

Relationships continued to grow as I moved off campus sophomore year. I wouldn’t say that I was growing very much at this point. There were a lot of new people in my life, and I was so busy hanging out with them and getting to know them that I wasn’t spending time on my relationship with God. I’ve learned that even if I’m doing good things with my time, I still need to make time for my relationship with God. Our relationship with God is very similar to our relationship with each other. Time apart causes the relationship to dwindle. God wants to spend time with us just the same as we hope to spend time with our closest friends and family.

Midway through sophomore year I was challenged to pray about going on another summer project. I hadn’t had much desire to go again, but I thought it may be worth going if I were to go on an international one. I talked to my friend Will, who I had met in San Diego, about going to Australia, and we decided we would apply, pray about it, and see what happened. We both ended up getting accepted, but a couple months before the trip Will found out he had the opportunity to go to Airborne school and decided to go that route. I was excited for him and excited for Australia, even though he wasn’t able to come. Sometimes the only way to get us where God wants us to go is for Him to arrange things in a way that we see attractive, even if that’s not the way He eventually desires things to work out.

In Australia I was able to use all the things I had learned in San Diego. I met some great students from Australia and some students from India who had come to Brisbane for Uni (University). I was having a good time and forming some great relationships when Nick sent me an e-mail letting me know one of my really good friends from UWL had gotten in a car accident and passed away. It felt so surreal, and I felt completely helpless. It’s something I will never understand. It taught me more than I’ll ever be able to explain. I learned that God’s plan is bigger than mine and that I need to trust Him when I can’t make sense of things. There is a reason Sarah passed away at the age that she did, and all I can do is trust that God is in complete control and will use her death to further His kingdom. It also became very real to me that any moment can be my last, or the last of any of my friends. I want to cherish every moment I have with people, and never leave a word unsaid. I want everyone I encounter to know my story and how Jesus became the only way for me.

My last two years at La Crosse were awesome. I got to live with Mark and Joel, two guys I knew from Bible study and church in Racine, along with Andy who I had yet to get to know. We all enjoyed playing sports and doing things outside, so we stayed very active together. This also allowed us to find things to do with other guys on campus. We were also able to host Bible study in our house for some time and had an open door policy for whatever friends wanted to come and hang out. It will definitely be two of the most memorable years of my life. We had a ton of fun together and built into each other based on what God was teaching us individually. I was also able to form close relationships with Taryn, Kelsey, and Jamie (Mark’s wife now!); three girls who, through their friendships, began to teach me the difference between the way guys and girls think and act on things. Fortunately, all six of these people will be in my life for a long time and I’m sure will continue to teach me new things every time we talk.

As graduation was coming, I needed to decide what to do when school was over. Two friends from high school had a serious conversation with me one night after a couple hours of video games. Dan and Rem told me that they had always felt I was ignoring some of my God-given gifts by pursuing the degree that I did. They knew I had strengths in math and science and brainstormed with me about different paths I could’ve taken. I remember Dan telling me that God gives us gifts to use for Him, and that God will give certain people the mission of going to tell others about Jesus, while giving others the mission of sending those people. Dan helped me realize that I have the gifts to be a sender. I can still talk to others about Jesus and share my faith with everyone around me, but with the gifts I have I can help send multiple people into their “mission field”.

I don’t know why I chose MSOE over any other engineering schools. I guess I didn’t want to give God very many options. I hadn’t enjoyed college very much and wasn’t very excited about the idea of going back. But, I decided to apply to Milwaukee School of Engineering and see what God would do with it. I prayed and told God that I would be happy to attend if I got accepted, otherwise I would pursue a career utilizing my communication degree. I ended up finding out a few months later that I was accepted into the architectural engineering program at MSOE, and enrolled to start school the following fall, when I quickly realized how unique it was to have the core group of friends that I had established.

I’ve decided to stop here for the day. I hope to keep these short enough that you can finish them without getting too bored or distracted. I’m hoping that Part III will finish it off with a little bit about my time at MSOE and the way God has been teaching me through the separation from all the friends that built into my so much through the last 10 years.

Why Jesus? - My Story

PREFACE

As I was studying at the University of Wisconsin- LaCrosse for my communication degree we did a lot of self-reflection and self-realization tests. The more you know about yourself, the easier it is to understand your faults and weaknesses, and the easier it is to understand your strengths. During those years, I started to learn about myself, and really learned about why other people act the way that they do.

Personally, I realized that I learn the most from experience. It bothers me that our society has moved so far away from the idea of apprenticeships, when you can learn more about almost anything by doing it than you can by merely talking about it. I travel because everywhere I go, I see new things and meet new people. allowing me to learn something new every time. I can learn by just observing something, or I can learn by experiencing something or being a part of something. Regardless of when and where I learn things, I know one thing for sure - I learn the most from the things around me. I could sit in seclusion all day, every day, and learn some stuff, but not nearly as much as I can learn by just experiencing the things around me.

During all the time I've spent traveling, living in different areas, and meeting new people, I've learned a ton from the people I've encountered. Everyone has a story, and the awesome things is, every story is different! I learn about why people react the way they do when certain things happen in life. I learn about what makes people happy and sad. I learn about what in people's pasts may've caused them to become who they are now. Learning doesn't end after school. The reason I write these blogs is for two reasons. Firstly, so that those people who are in my life who I love dearly, but don't have the time to talk to very often can be a part of my life without needing direct communication. Secondly, I'm often told that I'm a very unique individual, and I hope that the experiences I have had in the past and continue to have now can encourage you, and also give you the opportunity to learn, whether it's about me or something you can bring into your own life.

Everyone that reads my blog posts knows where I'm at now and that my heart is on God, but very few probably know why I made that choice. This is going to be an extended background of why I chose Jesus and how I know I'm going to Heaven. Hopefully you can relate, or even find a place in the story where you played a role!

THE STORY

The Beginning

One of the earlier things I can remember in life are times where I'd be lying in my bed at night thinking about Heaven and Hell. I have no idea how old I was, but I know that I was scared. I had just started to understand the idea of eternity, and it freaked me out. Somewhere along the line I had heard that I was going to either live forever in Hell or live forever in Heaven. I didn't want to live forever, but then I would think of the ultimatum... dying forever, and that seemed like a pretty horrible option as well. The idea of forever completely freaked me out, and I'd be in tears every time I thought about it. I knew I didn't want to be in the Hell that I had been taught about in my private school (which I'll talk about shortly), but even living forever in Heaven was a scary thought. It took me a couple years to grow out of this, but I'll come back to that in a little while.

My dad was raised in a Christian home and attended church with my grandparents for the beginning of his life. My mom was raised in a strong Catholic home and attended church with my other grandparents for the beginning of her life. When they got married, they had to make the decision of which church to be a part of, so they compared their beliefs to what they knew the Bible taught. There were certain things the Catholic Church teaches and believes in that my parents found to be unBiblical, so they decided to be a part of Racine Christian Reformed Church - the church my dad had grown up in, which was started in the basement of my Great Great Uncle. The church was "connected" to a private school which my dad had attended for 1st-9th grade. The same school that my sister and I would attend for K-8th - Racine Christian School.

I remember be confused by the troublesome students and why they would want to act in the way that they did... until 4th grade. In 4th grade, I became that student. I was a smart kid and I often got bored in school, so I resorted to messing around and getting in trouble. At first, it was just little things here and there, but by the time I reached middle school I was hanging out with the wrong crowd. I WAS the wrong crowd. The things we were doing weren't horrible, but they were things that weren't okay, such as throwing snowballs at recess, throwing our extra lunch food at the playground equipment to watch it explode, and playing pranks on each other during class. We'd sneak out of class and see how long it took the teacher to notice we were gone, just for the thrill of it. I guess I must not have been one of the worst, since I stayed out of trouble for the most part, but I definitely remember that I wasn't one of the best.

The whole time I was attending this school, I was also attending the same church. I was baptized there as a baby. I went to church every week with my family, and usually Sunday school the morning of church. Starting in 2nd or 3rd grade I was involved with a group of boys called Cadets, which I attended weekly. We went through Bible studies, but other than that it was very similar to Boy Scouts. We earned badges and had outings for camping, bowling, pinewood derbies, etc. I was hearing a lot about God and a lot about the Bible, but all I was doing was hearing it.

In 8th grade I attended a middle school day camp put on by a few churches in Racine. At the camp, I had seen people talk about Jesus in a way I had never seen before. The leaders were open and honest with us. I had enough time to gather that something was different, but not enough time to understand what it was. I told my dad I wanted to go to a different church: a church where I could hear people talking about Jesus the way they did at this camp. He told me that once I was old enough to drive, he would give me the freedom to go to church wherever I wanted to go.

Back to my fear of eternity. Eventually, after what seems like forever, I finally understood Heaven enough that I could calm myself down. I had to repeatedly remind myself that if God tells me Heaven is perfect, then it is. And, if Heaven is perfect, then spending eternity there can't be bad. I'd still get scared pretty often, but I just always reminded me of that truth. If our great, loving God created it, then I would just have to believe that I would enjoy it... for eternity. The idea of forever is still scaring me a little even as I type this right now, but I just hold fast to the promise God has given me that I'll be with Him some day in a perfect Heaven.

Freedom, and its Choices

High school. I had hoped to go to high school to a private school most of my friends were going to be going to - Racine Lutheran High, but, my parents wanted me to go to a public school closer to where we lived. I had been playing soccer since I could run, and I had really hoped to play in high school. Lutheran had a decent team, and the school I was going to - Union Grove High School, was launching their first year as a club team. I wanted to play real soccer, and from what I had gathered, a club team sounded like recess-type soccer. Nevertheless, my parents made the decision to send me to Union Grove High School (UG).

UG is on the country side of the interstate from Racine. The high school is comprised of 3 main middle schools. My middle school was not one of those 3, and I only knew a handful of people at the school. My neighbor Rem, and my friend Tyler who had gone to the same middle school as me, were the only two people I had any sort of relationship with. I was the new kid to everyone else. Even though they had gone to different middle schools, lots of the students knew each other from playing sports together or against each other growing up. Although I had been shy until now, I had to do something different, or I knew I was never going to have any friends.

Soccer season started before school, so I quickly got to know some of the guys on the team. Only myself and a couple other players had ever played before, and with my experience, I stood out from all but a couple guys. I was one of the best on the team, and I had a lot of the girls attention, because I was the new kid. I took advantage of this situation in as many ways as I could. I became a huge flirt, and tried to be as cool as I could figure how to be. It may've just been a skewed view of myself, but I recall being a little more mature than those people around me, so rather than finding friends my own age, I started hanging out with an older crowd. Lots of my friends at school were seniors and juniors. I quickly went downhill. I was attracted to the party scene. I was attracted to all the things I was hearing about high school girls. I was attracted to whatever fame I could get on the soccer field. I was attracted to the good grades I could easily pull off in my classes. Everything seemed like it was going great, but my life was becoming quite different than it had ever been before.

The things I'm about to write I am in no way proud of. I hope for forgiveness from everyone that was negatively effected by my actions. I ask forgiveness from those people in my life who were close to me at this time but may not have known my actions, especially my family. Also, some details will remain untold for the privacy of the other people involved.

Girls are attractive. God gave us women for companionship, and I wanted any, and all the companions I could get. It's pretty easy to kiss a high school girl. I was the new kid, remember? They were intrigued by what they didn't know. Fairly quickly that intrigue wore off, but I took full advantage of it while it was there. I dated girls for the first time. My older friends convinced me that although kissing was cool, there was a whole box of options that I hadn't even opened up yet. I started trying them out. Originally, just with girls I had a "romantic" relationship with, then quickly realized that I didn't need to be in a relationship with a girl to do some of the things I wanted to do. I went to parties, hoping to hook up with girls, and it worked. I would sneak out of my house and go to parties, or spend the night at the location of a party so that I wouldn't have to tell my parents what I was doing. Other parents didn't care if their kids were out partying and drinking, so my friends and I would just lie as to where we were staying or who we were hanging out with, then go to the other kid's houses.

Somehow, through all of these activities, I stayed true to three morals. I never got drunk. I never tried drugs. And I never had sex. I have no idea what kept me from doing those things, but I'm so glad that I was able to abstain from them!

Slowly, I began to realize that the party scene wasn't it. The alcohol wasn't it. The fame wasn't it. The girls, well... they were still an option for now. I like to think of this part of my life as the book of Ecclesiastes. In Ecclesiastes, Solomon, the richest man to ever live (even with the conversion factor!), tells us over and over that everything under the sun is a waste. He had the money. He had the power. He had more concubines than there are days in the year. If he lived today, he'd probably own a state. He'd have multiple luxury car lots on his land. The people living on his land with him would be mostly family, and any others would be personal slaves. He could buy anything he wanted to buy and he would have anything anyone could ever dream of having. Bill Gates has nothing on Solomon. Although I didn't have everything, I did experience things, and everything I experienced seemed to be missing something. Nothing satisfied.

During my junior year of high school a lot started to change. The friends I had hung out with for the first two years had all graduated, so I started forming better relationships with people my own age. Instead of going to parties to partake in the festivities, I was going and telling myself I was doing it to share Jesus with the people there. I'm pretty sure I was lying to myself and I just wanted to spend time with whatever girls were there. Regardless, I did actually have a few conversations about Jesus during that time. I was starting to act like the guy I was raised to be, rather than who I had been trying to pretend to be.

I finally had my license! That means, I was finally able to explore different churches. I'm pretty sure I started looking as soon as I got my license. My friend Rem came with me, and we checked out any church we had heard of. We visited almost every church that any of our friends had attended, and finally found separate church homes a few months after the initial visit. I found my home at Grace Church, one of the main churches involved with putting on Middle School Madness, the group I had opened my eyes a few years earlier. At first, I was just going by myself. I was trying to get friends to come with, but if they came, they'd only come once or twice. After a while my mom came and checked it out. I think she must've noticed something different with the way I talked about it. She started coming with as my dad and sister continued to go to our old church. After a little longer, they started coming as well. My whole family was being changed by the truth that was being preached in this church. It wasn't that our old church hadn't spoke the truth, but they weren't preaching it in a way that we could easily understand. Grace frequently preached a Gospel message, which was something we had heard, but not something that had ever been given as much importance as it was receiving at Grace. The Gospel message is pretty much part of the sermon devoted to explaining that we all sin and do things God has asked us not to, which according to the Bible is deserving of Hell, we are saved from Hell by God sending His Son to die on a cross in our place. The fact that Jesus died so that we didn't have to is the Gospel message.

Everything I had been hearing and learning took a little time to grow on me, but the summer before my junior year I spent three weeks straight in ministry positions. First, I had volunteered to be a leader at the middle school camp that had opened my eyes a few years before. The week after I had been asked to lead a group of students at vacation Bible school. Then, for week number three I went down to Mexico with some other high school students on a mission's trip. I had never really read the Bible much, but I was in it for three weeks straight, and God showed me during that three weeks who He truly was.

This is the "point of salvation". I was "saved". I became "born again". I had realized how much God loved me. I had realized how sinful I was as a person. I had read about who I was created to be, and realized I was nothing close to it. I prayed to God and told Him that I had messed up. I knew I wanted to go to Heaven, but I didn't understand what that meant. I didn't understand that that meant I had to reach out my hand and accept some of the blood that Jesus bled out while He was dying for my sins. I understood now, and I was overjoyed about what Jesus had done for me, but deeply saddened by the fact that my sins had to be paid for by someone else because I was inadequate. My biggest fear all of my life has been being inadequate, and I finally found an area where it was the only option. I prayed and told God that He gave His Son for me, so I would give my life for Him. I'd be willing to go anywhere. I'd be willing to do anything. My life was no longer my own, but I laid it out before God and told Him that I'm rightfully His, and that I want Him to use me in any way He desires. Death doesn't scare me, because I know that if it comes, it comes because my time here was done. God is in full control, and it is a daily prayer of mine that if there is anything in my life that is keeping me from fully serving God, that He would rid me of those things so I can clearly see His will and be fully utilized by Him. I'm His vessel, nothing more.

If you read this far, I hope that God is speaking to your heart through my story. I will post Part 2 in a day or two. Thank you to those people who have stuck by through all the battles of life. Thank you mom and dad for giving me the freedom to make mistakes, and I'm sorry that you may've learned some new things about me through this. Thank you all for the love and support you give me. Love you all!

Life's New Look

It's been a while since I've written anything to update everyone on how things are going. I shot out a could quick Facebook status updates as things were happening, but haven't really told the story for you guys to read. I haven't sat still in months, but I felt like I needed to share what's going on with my life right now.

My contract position ended on January 18th. The position had gone fairly well. I felt that I was doing a good job, and a couple employees had approached me and told me the same. The company was also very busy, so I knew that they needed as much help as they could get. A couple days before my contract ended I was invited into the conference room, and received a full-time offer as a Junior Mechanical Engineer. I took the position and I'm DWG Consulting's newest employee. It's been a great job, and I work with a ton of awesome people. Most of the people I'm working with are at similar places in life as myself. They're buying their first homes, having their first kids, getting married, paying off debt, and all the other fun things young people do. We put together a basketball team for a church league and we've been having a ton of fun getting our butts kicked every week! I've been putting in a ton of hours, usually 45-55 a week, but it isn't nearly as bad as it seems due to the people that I get to work with.

JOB DESCRIPTION

I'll just give a short description of the company and my job. Architecture firms design new buildings or renovate old ones, then send us a digital model of the space they've created. Everything you can see in a building is usually in their drawings. Then, once we get the model, we conduct calculations to determine the amount of air, lighting, electricity, and water needed for the building. Once the calculations are completed we can choose most of the equipment that we'll use: air handling units, water pumps, light fixtures, plumbing fixtures, and that type of thing. The final thing is to place the equipment and associated ducts, pipes, and light switch/ outlets into the model before sending it back to the architect for approval.

Personally, I've been conducting a lot of the calculations and doing a lot of the drawing. I have also been going on site visits to determine what the pre-existing conditions are for the buildings that we're renovating. We need to determine if we can re-use any equipment, and also have to develop demolition drawings at times. There are also some background tasks necessary such as writing narratives for what we plan to do with the space, and developing specifications, neither of which I've done very much of yet. I was recently approached about traveling to do site visits for one of our national clients, so some time in the near future I'll start flying around the country to look at renovating specific buildings to be plasma donation centers.

I do enjoy the job, and I hope to be at this company for a while, but I feel like I'm missing something. I have been trying to determine what else I can be doing during this time, but haven't made a concrete decision. I'll be moving into a new house sometime in March, and I'm hoping that once I get settled in it'll be much easier for me to make other decisions. I've been living out of boxes again for the last month waiting to find out where I was going to be living, so this will make it much more comfortable. Plus, I get to go back to Wisconsin and get some of my stuff and I get to move within walking distance of work! No more having to borrow things from other people all the time, and no more tourism traffic!

PLANS FOR THE NEAR FUTURE

After moving, I hope to start A Helping Hand up in the Charleston area. I want to find a hard-working young adult with construction experience to look over things while I'm at work, so that I can continue to fully commit to my engineering job, being able to delegate certain things to that person and others every evening after work. I have a business plan in place that I am sure will be successful, but I'm waiting on God to provide the right person for the job.

I also hope to start a city-wide worship night that would bring all the churches together for a night of worship completely separate from any individual congregation. It's difficult for me to see so many people working toward a common goal, but ignoring each other's existence. I haven't made much headway, but I have some ideas that I would like to look into to see if this is something that I could possibly put together for the Charleston area. I know people would come, but I need to find the appropriate band and the appropriate venue.

REGULAR, PRAYER REQUESTS

Please be praying that God would direct me in how to serve Him most effectively during this time. I don't have much time outside of work, so I can't spread myself as wide as I had been. I need to determine one or two areas that I can concentrate my efforts.

Pray for a band and a venue for what I hope to call Praise Jam. Pray for open doors so that this thing can really happen.

Pray that if God wants A Helping Hand to happen that the right person would cross my path.

Pray that God would bring a couple close friends into my life, whether it's friends who are already close moving here or developing deeper friendships with some people here.

BIG PRAYER REQUESTS

Our pastor challenged us at the beginning of the year to pray for some big things, because God tells us that He'll give us above and beyond anything we can ask or imagine. So, please, if you're called to, join me in prayer for the following things in my life.

Please pray that God would restore my health and take away my diabetes. I have been having a lot of problems with my blood sugars lately. Please pray that whatever areas of my life have been affected by the diabetes would be restored as well. I know through Christ that full healing can happen, so please help by digging a hole in the roof and lowering me into the house. (Mark 2:1-5).

Along with good friends, I'd love to start a family. Mom and Dad want to be able to play with their grandkids before they get weak and frail, and if I'm blessed with children I'd like them to know two very mobile grandparents as well. Please pray that God would bring a companion to the well (Genesis 24:42-45).



Thank you guys. Love you all!