I've been doing something wrong. A lot of things actually. Fortunately, a friend gave me a book to read that was really able to convict me and open my eyes to something new. I'm about to share a lot about what God has been doing in my life, what I thought it meant, and what I now realize was going on. If you read this and feel convicted, that's great, but it's not my intent. The book was written by James MacDonald and is titled "Way of Wisdom". My friend Mark had started reading it and realized it was something I needed to read so gave it to me as soon as he had the chance. I've needed wisdom, and I've known I need wisdom. Up until this point I thought I just needed patience, and I've been living with the idea that I just need to wait in mind, but I learned quickly that I needed a lot more than patience.
The book begins by breaking down the traditional view that God has one perfect plan for our lives and if we fall out of it we're left playing catch up for the rest of our lives. I never believed that I had to play catch up, but I always kind of had a feeling that I had to make the right decisions in every situation. I always thought one option in a decision would allow God's will to be played out much easier than any of the other options. Decisions like where to go to school, where to find a job, where to live, who to have as friends, whether to listen to this music or that music. I thought all those decisions had a clear answer that I could seek out and discover if I was in prayer and reading the Bible every day. What I learned from this book is that God's will for my life is a perfect will independent of those decisions, as long as I stay within the moral boundaries God has given us through the Bible.
I thought of myself on the road system in the United States. Originally, I thought that God wanted me to take one specific route when getting from my origin to my destination. Let's say I want to get to Dallas from Atlanta. What I believed is that I would have to take I-20 through Birmingham and Jackson. Maybe God had certain things for me to do in those cities, or those periods in my life and that's why I had to go that route. My mind was always so concerned on finding the "right" road or the "quickest" road that I never saw that there were other options that would get me to the same destination. I could just as easily go through Memphis and Little Rock and still eventually arrive in Dallas. Both routes would have choices along the way. Do I get off on a back roads around Little Rock and check out Popeye statues? Maybe there's a car accident between Birmingham and Memphis, so I change my route and head back down toward Jackson. God may use me to save a soul on a detour to Nashville. If I'm not on that route, God will still use someone to save that soul and may use me to encourage someone in Montgomery. God's free will allows us so many options as long as we stay on the roads He's laid out for us. If we get off the road, or outside God's moral will for our lives, we'll find ourselves struggling to get through the wilderness we encounter, whether it's forests, rivers, or swamps it is not God's will for our lives to get off the road. Originally I thought I was just waiting for traffic to start moving again so I could continue down I-20, but I've realized that God has given me options. I may be in God's perfect will staying on I-20, but I could also still be in God's perfect will if I decided to take any one of a number of other routes. So what are my other routes?
I still believe that God directed me to Charleston. Maybe it was just to transition me away from the comforts of home, or maybe for another purpose. The problem is that I've been sitting around waiting for a job in Charleston to come, as if this was the only route. I've been reading Exodus while reading the book, so I know that there are times where God has a specific will for us to go somewhere and do something. There's a chance that is what God is doing with me in Charleston, but I need to be open to other routes and know that God will close and open roads if He wants to direct me somewhere specific. My job search up until a few weeks ago had pretty much been focused on the Charleston area along with companies that could eventually lead me back here because of their national spread. Recently, I've started applying to jobs internationally.
Here's what I've found:
I keep talking about God's moral will. I asked myself, is there anyway I could end up outside God's moral will through the time I'm spending job searching. The only thing I could think of is if I were to not pay back my student loans in the time I promised the bank I would pay them back. God has asked me to be a man of my word and to not be a slave to anything of earth. So, I need to make sure in my decision that I find a job where I can pay back those loans in a timely manner. I also need to keep in mind that some things may benefit me more than others. If I get the choice between a traveling salesman and an engineer, and my future desire is to be in the construction field, then it would definitely be more beneficial to my future to take the engineering job. Both options are perfect in God's moral will, but one of them is better using the gifts I've been blessed with. Other than that, God will direct me if He wants me to go somewhere specific. If I'm blessed with options, God has given me the free will to choose from those options and remain in His perfect plan regardless of the option I choose.
I'm definitely ready to go wherever a job opens up. I have a little hesitation with going back home, because when I'm surrounded by so many mentors,parents, and family, it's difficult for me to fully seek out my own personal relationship with God. I'd definitely love to stay in Charleston because of the friendships I've been developing and the ministries I've been working in, but first I need to attack the ways I could possibly fall out of God's moral will. If I can do that in Charleston, that'd be great, otherwise, I need to find a place and a job that I can do it through.
PRAYER REQUESTS
A job.
A clear mind.
Continued wisdom.
Love you all.
